The average adult makes over 35,000 decisions a day— what to eat, what to wear, what task to do first1.
Each of these takes time and energy, and they have a way of sneakily stealing from us. Our attention, our patience, our creativity—all things I value.
I really dislike making decisions. I’ve been this way my whole life.
It’s especially bad when I’m on vacation and someone asks, “Where should we go out to eat?” That question makes me want to crawl under a table, or better yet, skip dinner altogether and order pizza to the hotel room2.
But over the years, I’ve learned some tricks. I’ve made a handful of decisions once so I don’t have to keep remaking them. These are the things I’ve chosen to make repeatable, automatic, default—so I can save my energy for the bigger or more interesting choices.
Relate it to brushing your teeth. Hopefully, it’s routine, so it’s easy for you to brush your teeth in the morning and at night. Hopefully you don’t belabor over which toothbrush you select; you only have one. And it’s the same idea for your toothpaste. It’s not fussy and it’s routine. You even do it when you are camping! It just works! Why not make more things like brushing our teeth?
Here are a few:
Food & Drink Defaults
Friday night dinner: Always the fish fry. Born and raised in Wisconsin—this is tradition, not a decision.
Choice of side out to eat: I’m always ordering the vegetable when it’s an option. And I’ll take salad over soup any day over 32 degrees.
Bar drink: Brandy Old Fashioned Sour or Diet Coke. My forever defaults.
Coffee shop order: Hot latte with whole milk in the winter, vanilla iced latte in the summer. Plus a chai latte at the first whisper of fall and a peppermint mocha before Christmas. See how fun I am?
Every day breakfast: Black coffee and overnight oats or granola with milk or yogurt. Weekends are the only time I mix it up.
Go-to meals: Grain bowls and homemade pizza are in constant rotation. And I always record the good recipes in a Google Doc so I don’t have to relocate them later.
Grocery brands: When we’ve tried them all and found the best, we stick with it. No switching unless we have to:
Peanut butter: Smucker’s Natural Creamy. (My twin sister landed on the same one without collaborating on this—this feels like a public service announcement. You’re welcome!)
Jam: Bonne Maman Strawberry. Worth every cent. Unless there is a local option, then I go for that.
Olive oil & olives: Partana, for the best value + quality combo.
Mayo: Hellmann’s Real. Obviously.
Soy sauce: Kikkoman. Nothing else compares.
Same-size pantry items: I always rebuy the same sizes that fit our containers and space—almost zero need for backstock. (5 lb bags of flour and sugar, 18 oz oats, for example) (PS. I don’t know why it took me forever to figure this out)
Candy Choice: This is a big deal because it’s such a treat, I want to get it right. Skittles are always3 the right answer. Don’t judge me, but I also love Reece’s Pieces.
Clothes & Wardrobe
Wardrobe system: A seasonal capsule where everything matches everything else. Getting dressed takes under a minute. (Admittedly, I don’t know how to dress for summer yet so this is currently taking up some bandwidth.)
Outerwear: I have one jacket for each weather occasion. They were all well researched, are timeless, and work perfectly for me. If they ever wear out, I’ll replace them with the same ones.
Underwear: All black. All the same brand (Pact). All favorites. And needlessly tidy and satisfying in my drawer.
Socks: All Darn Tough (I’m a sucker for a lifetime guarantee and the idea of never buying socks again), in a few weights for different seasons/activities.
Running shorts: Lululemon Fast and Free. In black, of course. This was researched by a good friend of mine and I can never wear a different pair. If they ever stop making this style, I will break all of my rules and stock up.
Sports bra: Nike, same style every time.
Running shoes: Brooks Ghost. I stopped looking after I found these. I’ll re-evaluate if I need to.
Favorite Stores/ Brands: I try to shop at a limited set of stores because wow there are so many options and I appreciate Everlane enough for most everything.
Formal outfits: I rotate between three already-planned looks depending on the event. I could hone this in even more, but that’s a decision for another day.
Shoes: One pair per need (weather, occasion, activity). No excess, no guessing.
Jewelry: I have one necklace, one ring, and a couple of pairs of earrings. I could pare down my earrings but I think they are fun, so I will keep playing with my limited collection.
Home Systems
Laundry routine: One cycle, one detergent (Nellie’s), all clothes together. Works every time.
Gift giving: Simple formulas for each occasion. This way I’m never wondering if the gift is good enough or whatever else my ego tries to tell me about the gift (gift giving is my number 1 love language even though I try to be an active anti-consumerist! So confusing!!)
Household product decisions: Once I find something that works, I stick with it. No trial-and-error every restock. (Unscented Dr. Bronner’s Liquid Castille Soap, Mrs. Meyer’s dish soap, that’s pretty much it)
Toiletry products: I don’t bounce between brands. If it works for me I keep buying it. I am not picky here. Just not one of my values (lol).
Towels: You guessed it, they are all the same (Nomadix towels for the win. I love these for our current spot in life, also love the tag on it that says “own less, do more”.)
Sheets: One set for the winter, one set for the summer. Nothing else. No decisions to be made there.
My very minimal apartment in Madrid, 2018. We used our bags, hats, and books as “decor” because we had nothing else and I fully endorse that “decorating” strategy.
Daily Rhythms
Wake-up time: Same every weekday. It’s not up for debate. Same for bedtime.
Workday routine: Same thing every day. (With tremendous variation once I arrive at work, which is one of the great joys of working in public school.)
Makeup: I have one look that is repeated for everything. I add more eye shadow when I’m trying to be fancy. Ha.
Activities: Repeatable running/ biking routes/ fitness routines. I always have my old faithfuls to turn to and can explore if I want to!
The takeaway?
Reducing the number of decisions I have to make is not about becoming a robot or being boring (who cares if I am??). Having my favorite “go-tos”—especially when out to eat—makes the whole experience much better for me. It allows me to focus more on the company I’m with than the decision I make.
It’s about knowing yourself well enough to say:
“This works. I’m going to keep doing it.”
I still make decisions, of course. But the more I reduce the number of trivial ones, the more energy I have for the ones that really matter—how to spend my time, what kind of life I want to build, how I want to show up for the people I love.
It gives me more energy to fantasize about moving across the planet or whatever.
Sometimes, the most radical choice is to choose once—and keep choosing it.
What’s another decision we could take off our plates by repeating it, automating it, or defaulting to what already works?
https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/behavioral-health/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-decision-fatigue#:~:text=what%20do%20I%20eat%2C%20what,Life%20has%20gotten%20more%20complex
I know this is insane, so I now plan a dinner spot before going on a trip. And in really big cities, I delegate this task to my sommelier husband.
Skittles were NOT the right answer when they did a sad thing to us and switched the lime to green apple from 2013-2021. All is right now.
Smucker’s natural creamy is absolutely the superior peanut butter!!! Has enough salt and mixes together well!
Yeah I'm the same, I like routine and less decisions. It makes life so much easier if we don't have to worry about the little decisions.