The Only Gift Guide We Really Need.

Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday to those who observe!

‘Tis the season of gift guides and lots and lots of other good stuff and let me tell you first- I love a good gift guide. Gift-giving (and eye candy) is my love language.

I started writing a long post about how to give thoughtful and minimal gifts, like consumables, handmade items, and experiences. I wrote and rewrote this post and I think what I am trying to say is that giving gifts is hard! And having to give gifts to all of the people we love most all at one time is STRESSFUL.

Instead of giving you a list of gift ideas, I would like to give you a guide of some lessons I have learned about gift giving and receiving-

Gift Giving Ethos:

Let’s start with the most important lesson that my mom taught me when I was a small child: you give gifts because you want to, and it doesn’t matter what the recipient does with the gift after you have given it. If you give $10 to your kid brother and he buys something silly with it- that’s not your fault and you aren’t allowed to feel sad or mad about what he did with the gift you gave him. As soon as the $10 is in the recipients’ hands, the gift has been given and you aren’t allowed to think about it anymore (especially if you don’t agree with it!). Keep in mind that you are giving gifts without the expectation to receive something in return.

Now flip the script. If somebody has given you a painting, it is not your responsibility to display it for them to see. It is your responsibility to first say thank you, and then decide if you want it or not and move on with your life. Displaying something in your home just because it was a gift is not what the gift giver (unless they are cruel) intended. The giver was most likely hoping you would enjoy it. If you do not- let it go. The gift giver most likely won’t notice or say anything and if they do, let them know politely that you found a brilliant home for it (just not in your own home- don’t tell them it was the trash or donation center if you know that will hurt their feelings- duh). Maybe you brought it to work or it looked too good in a friend’s space for you to pass up the opportunity. Regardless, after the gift is given to you, it is yours to do what you wish with it.

Lists are super helpful:

When I think about what my favorite gifts are they are usually items I specifically asked for. That’s it. People want what they have asked for (that’s the secret!!). I make a list all year round with things I want on it. I am constantly adding and subtracting to the list. This helps to prevent buying things for myself impulsively but also to be thoughtful (and prepared!) when I ask for gifts and for when they potentially enter my home.

My Christmas list. I have diligently researched each item on my list checking it twice for durability and making sure I have a spot for it in my home. Most of these items are replacing worn-out versions of something I already have.

Experiences are the most memorable gifts:

If the gift isn’t something from my list, an experience is always a good idea!

• My earliest memory of being gifted an experience instead of a tangible item was when I was in early elementary school and my parents took my sisters and me to visit New York City for Christmas. As an aside, It was 2001 and I look fondly on the educational experience it afforded me, as well as my parent’s bravery to take 3 small children to New York City- let alone so shortly after 9/11.

• My sister gifted me a boat ride in her new neighborhood a few years ago (we love a sister who lives in Florida by the ocean).

• My mom always requests that I hike with her for all gift-giving occasions. We make a weekend of it and it is always the best time.

• Sharing a meal together (especially hibachi- nobody forgets that!) is always a memorable gift experience I enjoy. This year my sister and my husband are planning to co-chef a fancy at-home (sourdough enthusiasts) dinner.

• One year my parents gave me money to apply towards an excursion on a vacation and I chose to swim with dolphins.

• My husband gifted me coupons for him to execute some of my least favorite camping chores and I oftentimes wish I had more of those to cash in.

I would take these experiences, memories, and maybe a couple of pictures from these times over a tangible gift any day. I am excited to say that this year all of the gifts I am giving are experience-based! Perfect for an aspiring minimalist.

Generic gifts should be something you would like:

If you are in a position where you don’t know somebody well or are in a generic gift swap situation, give a gift that you wouldn’t mind getting! Favorite books that you think should be on every shelf, your favorite scented candle (fragrance menu written by yours truly), high-quality socks, local maple syrup (can you tell I live in the north??), chocolates, and if you are my dad- a high quality, local ham. As a rule of thumb, I like to stay away from gifting alcohol to people I don’t know well. Personally, I will be giving homemade hummus with sourdough discard crackers and stone cold cash.

Generic consumable gifts I would be excited about getting. Or at least they should be easy to re-gift.

As for teachers, caregivers, and other service people- they want cash or a very generic gift card (Amazon, Visa, Target, or whatever big box store is nearby the school). They don’t even really want the candy or cupcakes your kids are bringing and they especially don’t want an ornament with your kid’s name on it.

Don’t overthink gift wrap:

If you decide to go with all experience and skill-based gifts, maybe gift wrap can be avoided altogether. Gift wrap can be incredibly wasteful. It makes gift giving and receiving a bit more fun though, so here are some ideas about more sustainable gift wrap that I love:

A delightfully boring mood board about sustainable wrapping.

• First, use what you already have!! Don’t get sucked into deals if it just means you are going to end up with more wrapping paper than you need!

• Kraft paper is recyclable, neutral, and multipurpose. You can use kraft paper for wrapping gifts and for packing/ shipping things. It can be used all year round and eliminates the need for event-specific wrapping papers. Sustainable is always beautiful.

• Use comics pages from newspapers

• Use old maps, posters, or calendar pages

• Use fabric: use old scrap fabric or opt for something useful like kitchen towels or reusable bags to wrap things up.

• Re-use ribbon or use baker’s twine from the kitchen. Top your gifts with biodegradable or useful things like dried oranges, candy canes, or a sprig of greenery.

• Depending on the recipient- skip wrapping all together! Host/ Hostess gifts do not need to be wrapped. I have altogether stopped wrapping gifts for showers. I just put a secondhand ribbon on it and I am good to go!

This Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and the holiday season, let's challenge the status quo and infuse our celebrations with the essence of minimalism and being grateful for what we have and who we get to spend time with. By embracing mindful consumption, prioritizing experiences over possessions, and choosing quality and sustainability, we can redefine the meaning of gift-giving. And hopefully, make it more fun and less stressful! Let this holiday season be a time of intentionality, connection, and gratitude, as we navigate the path towards a more fulfilling lifestyle. Less full of stuff, more thoughtful.

Happy Thanksgiving, all! I sure am thankful for each and every one of my readers. I am going to keep writing whether I have readers or not, but your encouragement sure is sweet :). I love hearing about how people manage gift giving. Comment your favorite gifts to give and receive below and other tips you might have!

Love you,

Laine